In order to start a separation anxiety protocol for your dog(s) you first need to stop exposing them to the thing that is making them so upset - being alone. This looks different for every dog but these are my go-to recommendations.

Please note: While there are rare cases where a dog with separation behavior problems may be comforted by the presence of another dog or animal, this is RARE. Only consider a human presence as “not being alone.” Usually, separation issues are focused on the absence of people, and sometimes a specific person. This also means - getting a second dog is NOT a recommended management solution.

Why?

The reason we need to suspend absences is so that your dog no longer experiences the emotions currently associated with being alone and no longer practices any undesired behaviors like scratching or howling.

If they continue to experience and practice anxiety, panic, or habits then we will be actively counter-acting what we are trying to teach: feelings of safety and calm behaviors with SAFE alone time. Only leave your dog alone for as long as they can handle - even if that is a matter of seconds.

My Go-To List

I recognize that not everything on this list will work for every dog:

• Daycare and Boarding. If your dog gets along well with other dogs and humans and generally is not overwhelmed by multi-dog groups then this may be perfect. It is great if your dog appropriately plays with OR appropriately ignores other dogs. Major considerations: Ask if your dog will be alone ever or in a crate. Ask if they EVER use aversive tools or techniques (like “alpha rolling”) with dogs. When possible, I prefer small in-home daycare with insurance, reviews, and if possible experience with separation anxiety.

  • But be careful! Ask questions including how long your dog is expected to be alone or in a crate.

  • Ask how your dog does during trial days.

  • If your dog comes back from daycare or boarding hoarse or WAY over-threshold, then be careful - your dog may not be having an ok time at this particular facility. You might consider small in-home daycare and boarding options with smaller groups or less/no alone time.

• Dog sitters and walkers. Meet with them or talk with them first, make sure they can be on time to cover entire absences. I love this article from Whole Dog Journal about things to keep in mind when seeking or hiring a pet sitter: https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/lifestyle/dog-sitter-checklist/

  • I will add that I personally have had some success with Rover sitters who may not be insured/bonded/licensed - but that is a personal choice and you should carefully ask questions and meet them to make sure they are right for you and your dog.

• Combine Errands. It may be harder to cover multiple separate outings, see if you can do multiple errands while they are at daycare or with another person.

• Curbside Pickup or generally Bring your dog with you! This has become so much more possible and available if your dog can tolerate the car. Some dogs may be more OK alone in the car for short periods than at home (some will NOT). My own Gracie is NOT OK alone in the car so everything needs to be curbside or bring a second person to go in to pick up items.

• Post a Flyer. Reach out to your apartment complex, church, book club, local dog club, or other local and trusted space to post a flyer about how your dog is seeking friends plus any restrictions - no dogs, no kids, or loves everyone! A particularly creative idea is reaching out with a flyer to a place or service used by folks who may not leave home as much or have time to watch your pup - such as Meals on Wheels or a local Retirement Community.

• Friends, Family, and Folx you know. They may not always "get it," but if they are willing to sit with your dog or your dog can go hang out with them - they can be an awesome resource for getting coverage.

• Neighbors. If you have neighbors you are comfortable talking to, having someone nearby for quick errands can be great!

• Have a Best Furiend? If your dog has a few favorite playmates, consider talking to those dogs' parents to see if they would be up for setting up some pupdates.

• Work from home when possible.

• If you end up with a lot of folks wanting to help - you may consider making a schedule to keep it all clear for everyone.

Everyone social!

If your dog LOVES other people and other dogs - then your options are the most varied! Congratulations!

You still need to make sure everyone who watches your dog KNOWS about their alone time behavior and how strict the NOT LEAVING THEM ALONE rule is. As in, no, they cannot run out for a quick 15 minutes unless they bring your dog with them.

While your dog may tolerate or even like a wide variety of people, dogs, and other situations, you always want to keep in mind your dog’s sensitivities as well. Do they love other dogs one-on-one but find a large group setting overwhelming? Then large daycare might not be the best option. Are they super noise sensitive? Then you may need to be selective about whose houses your friendly dog stays at - maybe the friend with construction next door isn’t an option right now. OR maybe your dog doesn’t do well with cats - that may take some people off the list as well.

Dog Reactive Dogs

Your list will be more limited since many day cares and some dog walkers will not be options. But they may still be able to hang out with their particular one favorite dog friend if they have done so before or if you introduce them carefully before trying it out.

Make sure anyone who you are asking to help knows that they need a dog/pet-free home as your dog likes to be the only dog around. Sitters again may be incredibly helpful! https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/lifestyle/dog-sitter-checklist/

Do give walkers, sitters, and anyone watching your dog recommendations for how to handle walks and reactive moments - are there certain areas that are perfect with limited other dogs? Can they just use the yard or a sniff spot for any needed outings?

No One Social

If you have a very selective dog who does not like other humans then your first step in preparing to take on separation training will actually be widening the circle of who they feel safe with. Be very gentle with this - introducing other humans does not mean your dog need to directly interact with them the first times they meet.

Start in a neutral space (not at home) like going for a walk on a wide path or on opposite sides of the street. Make sure to choose a spot where the paths are wide enough to have some space where your dog can pass by a person without having to get too close or touch them. At first - have the person ignore your dog, talk as little as possible, and go at your dog’s pace. Don’t rush if your dog wants to sniff, but also don’t stop to chat if your dog wants to walk. This meeting is about your dog’s comfort and your dog easing into this human being present.

Some dogs won’t be able to walk with a stranger, sometimes you will need to first build up predictable pattern games and then introduce a person in a structured pattern numerous times before a walk is possible. I highly recommend working with a trainer if you need more details. You can check out my “Other services” for this or find a fear free, positive reinforcement trainer near you to work on reactivity or fear around humans.

If someone IS in your dog’s trusted circle, and your dog still panics when left with them - some relationship building might help, but you may also need to check in with the vet. It is not really possible for most people to be with their dog 24/7 (but sometimes it is!). You may want to rule out other medical issues and then see if your vet thinks that behavioral medication may be helpful when leaving your dog with another person.

It really is possible!

I know it may feel like a big lift to commit to never leaving your dog alone - but the results once you do and then start training can be incredible. As you grow your dog’s comfort with alone time, they will be able to be left alone for some things - a quick errand, going to dinner, going to pick up the mail.

But this is the first step to getting there. It can feel intimidating or embarrassing to ask for help, but it is really important to build your community and contacts to help you and support your during this training. You deserve this help while you care for your dog’s needs.

Reach out anytime for more ideas and help! Happy training!